I have been brought up in a space where dad always stood by mom and let her have an upper hand in taking important decisions. Be it for their relationship, us, finances and everything that’s been important in their life. Thankfully, we have been doing well ever since.
If mom has an upper hand that doesn’t mean dad doesn’t have a say. It’s just that he trusts her enough to lead the relationship.
Generically, in most cases, men are decision makers and kings of a family, women follow. Time is changing and the chains of male dominance have set free. A few places, women are becoming queens and taking over. Sometimes for the good, at times that dominance is misused. Nevertheless, female led relationships are flourishing.
Read on to know everything about female led relationships, types, the good, the bad and how should women balance their behaviour when leading in a relationship. Let’s look at different behavioral patterns and mindsets of men and women.
What is Female Led Relationship
The name quite explains it all. A female led relationship is a scenario where a girlfriend or wife thinks, analyzes, gets wise, looks through logic from all aspects, puts herself in a man’s shoes and ultimately makes the best decision for the benefit of a relationship or the family.
In other words, the man doesn’t take major decisions, he either allows, surrenders or happily likes to give into that woman.
Types of Female Led Relationship
It isn’t always true that where a woman takes decisions, it is a female led relationship. There are types of female led relationships you should understand. Read through every type of female led relationship!
Type #1 – Low Key Women Led Relationship
In low key relationships, a man gives the woman an upper hand to make a decision. However, she is unsure and not confident to consider her own opinion as the final decision.
For Example: You are just married and moving into a new house with your husband. If he gives you the authority to decide on choosing the furniture. It means he trusts you enough.
Even then, if you are hesitating to take that decision for your house, it clearly shows that you are leading the relationship being low key.
Type #2 – Moderate Women Led Relationship
In moderate women led relationship, the woman is happy about having the authority to make a decision and she makes the most of it without misusing the authority given to her. She makes decisions for the best and never takes it as an advantage to dominate the man.
For Example: If the husband is okay with the wife taking financial decisions without interfering. A woman who moderately leads the relationship will do what she thinks is right with that money. However, she will never misuse it to her benefit. On the other hand, in some cases a man likes her controlling him.
Type #3 – Formal Female Led Relationship
In this form of relationship, the woman likes exercising complete control and the man enjoys submitting. Here the woman is comfortable with allowing things to go her way and the man doesn’t object it.
For Example – When a woman wants to initiate sex, the man will allow her to do everything she wants. He will not put across his needs and desires, he will just give into what she wants to do. Similarly, in other aspects too, a man allows the woman to be her real self.
Type #4 – Excessive Female Led Relationship
It is a scenario where the man willingly wants to submit to his partner completely and the woman is okay dominating him excessively. Domination happens at every level. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
For Example – Example of an excessive female led relationship is when everything revolves around what she feels, thinks and wants to do in bed, in life and otherwise. The man has no say at all. In some cases, the man likes it and in some situations, it might suffocate him.
Now you have a clear understanding about the different types or levels of women led relationships. If you get to take the lead, how would you want to be?
Is FLR is Same as Feminism
Wondering if FLR is similar to feminism. The answer is No.
Feminism is about standing up for what’s right for women and not tolerating injustice. It is one woman standing for herself, another woman or a group. You aren’t dominant with your own will. You are just voicing out and being confident.
Whereas a female led relationship is not about standing up for what’s right. It is about independently taking decisions for your partner and yourself. Either because you like dominance, or because your partner likes it or just because he trusts you enough, he let’s you just be.
For the most part, people think if a woman is dominant she is a feminist. Two of these are entirely different concepts. The one thing that’s similar in being a feminist and the leading one in a relationship is the level of confidence.
Get a new perspective from wrong impressions. If she is taking the lead, it is so obvious that her man is okay with it and allowing her to take charge is the best decision according to him.
Never mix feminism and women led relationships!
Why Women Want Female Led Relationships
Usually, women want to be leading the relationship not because they have a sad attitude of torturing or controlling men. They get perks of being free souls, no one to interfere with their decision and they don’t have to deal with intense arguments over petty issues.
In addition to this, men help women feel confident about their managing capabilities, women feel best valued and respected.
Imagine if you had the leverage to make decisions, that would make you feel like a Queen. Cannot deny less how every woman likes that treatment. Using that leverage to the best or misusing it depends from person to person.
Therefore, most women feel highly respected if they are leading in a relationship. One set of women will admit they like to get that opportunity, while the rest yearn to be treated that way and they aren’t vocal about it.
Why Men Want Female Led Relationships
Why men want female relationships? Different men have different thoughts.
First off, just because a man likes being in a female led relationship, he can’t be seen as irresponsible or with no self-respect. He has his reasons for liking that kind of a relationship.
It can be surprising that a man can be okay with the woman taking the lead. Could be that he wants his woman to get bolder and learn to stay decisive, he loves doing what she loves and thinks its most sensible to let her take a call. To top it all, he gets to enjoy wild and dominating sex. The peace of no arguments and pleasure is all his.
Advantages of Female Led Relationship
Let’s take a look at what is good about female led relationships!
#1 – Women Enjoy The Independence
If not independence, what would you call a female led relationship? Here a woman gets the authority to make things happen according to her convenience. She enjoys the utmost independence with her thoughts and actions.
#2 – Women Feel Good
It is a beautiful feeling when a woman is trusted so much that she can take the lead. It gives her a real proof that she is special and valued.
When a woman is given that respect, she can make the man’s world a better place to live. Here’s a clause! provided she doesn’t take undue advantage of leading the relationship.
#3 – Women Feel Confident
Overtime when a woman gets accustomed to taking decisions, it is obvious for her confidence to boost up.
A female led relationship will work wonders when the man gives a soft woman the lenience to take decisions for the two of them. Altogether she gets to discover her confident self.
#4 – Reduces Baggage For Men
When it is always about a man taking decisions and taking care of everything else it gets taxing at times. When a woman leads, in a way it is beneficial to the man.
He gets to take a deep breath and just relax, he neither needs to worry about finances nor push himself to make things work, he can just trust the woman and love her enough to handle every situation to their benefit.
#5 – Win-Win Situation For Man And Woman
The society makes baseless norms. For the most part, it is always fed in a man’s mind from childhood that he has to grow up and be responsible for the woman who will be a part of his life.
I ask, why is that burden passed on to men only, why can’t women be equally responsible to share that burden so that it is a win-win situation for the two.
#6 – Gender Biased Perceptions Can Fade
Our society is gender biased. In some cases, men take lenience of dominating and at some places women take advantage of the society being empathetic and kind with women. It is a fault on both sides.
Therefore, men allowing women to take a lead in the relationship. The society gets to understand that it is not about a man or woman here. It is about a man and woman handling situations together. So, it is okay if a woman is leading.
A man allowing the woman to be herself shows how much he respects her and when a woman positively takes the lead, it shows that she is responsible and independent enough.
#7 – A Man’s Vulnerability Is Not Judged
A man gets to be happy when it is a female led relationship because he doesn’t need to suppress his emotions. He can cry if he wants to. When the man takes a lead, he has a stereotypical pressure of not breaking down. So, in a female led relationship, the man doesn’t need to worry about judgments at all.
#8 – There Is Better Peace In The Relationship
In a relationship, peace is restored when there is an equal understanding between the man and woman. This is possible when women get to do what they want to and men don’t have to break their heads over keeping the woman happy.
#9 – Fantasies Come True
Female led relationships can make fantasies come true. How? When a man loves being submissive and the woman likes domination, the untold fantasies come true. That being said, a submissive man and dominating woman get the best sexual pressure.
Disadvantages of Being In A Female Led Relationship
Just as everything rosy comes with thorns, same is the case with female led relationships. Female led relationships don’t turn out favorable for the man and woman when there is extreme dominance or expectations from a man. Read through the disadvantages!
#1 – Women Can Get Abusive
A woman who forgets being kind and makes the worst use of having an upper hand can get physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. A big no-no in a relationship.
#2 – Men Are Likely To Feel Under-Confident
When a woman exercises too much control in a female led relationship and isn’t mature enough to consider the man’s views, it can lead to a man losing out on his confidence.
#3 – Influences An Adult Relationship
Sometimes women led relationships are mistaken. A few men don’t understand its essence and start getting used to pampering so much so that they stop behaving like adults and the relationship becomes like that of a parent taking care of the child.
#4 – Burdensome For Women
Responsibility is never stressful when it is shared. Women led relationships can be burdensome for a woman. The man would be so used to her taking major decisions that she might not have a scope to relax and leave it on the man for once.
#5 – Man Feels Suppressed And Obligated
When opinions and problems of both the man and woman are addressed, only then is their relationship successful. Having said, in a female led relationship if a woman doesn’t feel the need to consider the man’s views, he might start to feel upset and stranded in that relationship, this is never a good sign.
Is There A Need To Maintain Balance?
All in all, it is not a bad idea for men to be in a female led relationship and good for women who get to make the most of it.
Having said, it is equally important that female led relationships are balanced. Like mentioned earlier, until and unless a woman doesn’t use the freedom in the negative sense, it is not toxic. Unfortunately, if women start getting obsessed with dominating the men and disrespect them. It is never a good scene.
How To Keep Balance In A Female Led Relationship
Anything going off limits is destructive. Here is how you should keep a balance if you are in a female led relationship.
For Men
- Always know your partner well, spend quality time with her and only if you are sure she won’t misuse the freedom, be open for a female led relationship.
- Always feel free to put across your opinion. Make it clear with your partner from day one that you will speak up if you don’t feel respected or in case you disagree.
For Women
- Never misuse the freedom given to you.
- Avoid being selfish and taking decisions. It takes the two to be happy in a relationship.
- Always be compassionate even though everything is in your control.
Female led relationships can be successful or a failure depending on factors such as how okay are the two of them in this setup, a woman using her decision making authority the right way and a man not being too dependent on the woman. Nothing can go wrong when there is adequate balance.
Finally, the purpose of being in a female led relationship must be beneficial for the emotional, mental and physical growth of a couple.
