For most of the women, you would have been waiting for years to meet you Mr. Right and probably you held on to your emotions all this while to express them to the one you are sure of marrying, it is a mixed emotion most of the women go through whether or not to marry a man despite knowing him or clicking with him after believing your instincts and vibes.
To ask yourself if he is the one a several times before you get there is no wrong! Some relevant questions you must ask a man before marriage.
To question him is no wrong because you are not going on a trip for days, you look forward to spend the rest of your youth until you get wrinkled for years from now. So, whom you choose to live with will mark the turning point in your life and you have to be absolutely sure of the decision you are taking.
In this article, you will get a chance to understand what are the questions a woman should ask a man before marriage.
Best Questions to ask a guy before marriage
1. Ask him about what is Commitment for him
For every woman, she expects a certain amount of transparency and loyalty in return while she is ready to give back the same to a marriage. Check with him, if he thinks commitment is important or not in a marriage and get to know from him if he is sure of holding your hand for life.
You can try this to test his commitment and see if you can trust him, ask him about how close his friendship with those from the opposite sex is, try and understand the friendship and avoid feeling insecure if you are a person who goes through insecurities.
Notice him when he talks about how he wants to build that bond with you, does it sound forced or does he genuinely want the bond , if he has made his effort. See if it seems long lasting or it was just said in the spur of the moment. Do not at any cost miss asking a man this relevant question before marrying him
2. Discuss with him on his values in life
We all have some values that we have made for ourselves in life and it is always nice to know what does your would be partner give importance to.
For instance, if he says for him valuing time is of highest importance then this shows that he respects the opposite person’s time and has some discipline in the way he lives. This was just an example, like this you can read him to a certain extent. Also, talk about what are your values in life.
His values and your values don’t necessarily have to be the same. It is just to be open and willing to accept his values and to understand if he can as well be open to accept yours.
3. Ask him about his routine and how he keeps himself busy
You need to ask him about how does he spend his day in general. No one really follows the same pattern in their life each day. But all of us have some things that we definitely follow. Now, this is important for a marriage because you will get an idea of how is he using his time and how the two of you should give each other personal space.
For instance, you work for nine hours and after that you give some time to working out for 45minutes, so your partner knows that it is a part of your schedule and you like it so then your partner won’t plan on anything with you at that time because he knows you like working out and even if he does he will discuss it with you. You must discuss this point because it is important to respect each other’s priorities.
4. Get to know about how he handles his finances and what are his expectations from you
We all need money to survive and as you take vows to unite, then that unity applies to every aspect in life that you both see to live together. It is not alone the responsibility of a man to financially contribute, so both of you must contribute to this aspect equally.
Ask him about where does he spend his money most on, check if he is into the habit of saving too because it is important when you need it in times of emergency, talk about how you want to contribute to the expenditure to run the show, get to know of how much he earns and if he has EMI’s how does he manage to pay them off, this way you will get to know his spending pattern and if you are okay with the financial scenario in your life. You can gauge if financially you both can be compatible or not.
5. Ask him if he intends to have a Child
It is believed that it is always nice to have a child from your husband as it is a symbol of your love and togetherness, a child binds the two of you in learning to be more responsible and accountable together. This might not be what everyone feels. So, you must discuss with each other if you both want to have a child. If you feel you do not want to have a child you must let him know.
You must know from him and share with him on your views of how much time the two of you need to take to plan a family, how many children you want to have and how do you intend to divide your responsibilities in taking care of your baby.
6. Get to know from him about his connection with his family and friends
It is important that you ask him about how has his childhood been, how close is he to his parents and siblings, how often he meets his parents and try to know about what his family likes and dislike, their lifestyle, their values and what do they do when they are all free.
You will get a gist of how well he can fit into your family and you will get to figure out how would you fit in there. Get to know about his friend’s circle, ask him about how many friends does he have, does he give time to friends and how have they managed to keep the relationship going.
Ask him if he ever initiates in making an effort to stay in touch with his friends or how does he address issues he faces with them. After listening to what he has to say, you will know of how he deals with people and if he respects relationships or not.
7. Check with him about how socially involved is he
Whether you are a home bird or you are a party animal you should ask him how is it with him, whether he socializes, parties, goes for movies, trips, tricks or is a volunteer in an NGO or is a sports enthusiast, how often does he drink, does he take drugs if he indulges into gambling etc.
See if you both are socially compatible because you would want each other’s togetherness when it comes to this aspect.
8. Know from him about how comfortable is he in taking up the responsibility of the household work
Now, the two of you will be working and it will be both of your homes. So both of you together have to take care of everything beginning from dishwasher to your gate. To manage a house more than two hands have to keep it moving.
You must ask the man about what task is he comfortable taking care of at home. Be it cooking, dishwashing, cleaning your floor, your restrooms etc. So depending on what suits both of you the best talk about what duties are you both game on taking
Make sure you discuss this because this may sound petty but it can create uneasiness of burden between the two of you.
9. Get to know what he does when he is on a vacation and during his off’s
It is good to ask him what he does in his free time and talk about what you do as well because in case both of you have the same taste, say for example you both love travelling.
You can plan a holiday once a year by making a checklist of the places both of you love and then come to an understanding of which place would you both visit and what are the things you would do there, this makes vacations fun.
This way you get quality time to spend ad you learn to respect and accept each others taste. Do ask a man this question before marrying him
10. Try to understand what affects him in terms of his emotions
Ask a man this question before marrying him as everyone has a different way of dealing with emotions, some are neutral in their reactions while some are very aggressive and it depends on the situation. This is the most delicate aspect of any marriage, our reaction to things and then how is the opposite person able to take it and accept you.
You know your nature, you must first tell him about what are those traits in you that make you upset, angry or weak. Be open to talking to him about your flaws too because he is going to witness it in the future.
Besides doing this, also get to know from him about his reasons for being a victim of any emotion, be it anger, pain or sadness. You must ask this to be prepared of the person’s nature than to be shocked later.
11. Ask him about his beliefs in religion, spirituality and philosophy for life
We all have a belief system, when it comes to our religion, our spiritual beliefs and some of our philosophies we live with. When you are getting into this institution of marriage you need to know his spiritual beliefs, religious beliefs and philosophy for life.
You must ask him if he believes in what you believe and even if he does not then try to understand what are his beliefs and see if you will be capable to accommodate with it or not. In case, both of you believe in different systems then make sure to accept and not criticise each other’s beliefs.
This can be a big deal in the future while you bring up your kids and it is good to discuss it now to avoid an infuriating situation in the future. So you must ask a man this question before marrying him.
It is very momentous for a woman to decide on marrying a man, asking these questions can be an ice-breaker for a new start. Every woman should ask a man these questions before marrying him despite the fact that no one can give in writing that it will be the same experience when you live with that person. But at least you will have an idea of how it may be.
You may see that his answers may not reach all your expectations, for a matter of fact, your answers may not reach his expectations too. To your surprise, his answers may seem totally convincing as well. If it does not, then think of those questions that are of paramount to you and if he answers them to you in a way that you are persuaded, then be happy that you are sure to marry him.
To all the women who are in search of their prince charming, wait for that moment. At the same time, do not follow your emotions blindly, keep in mind practical and logical scenario’s too and see if you can fit in there.