When a relationship doesn’t work out, breaking up becomes the only solution after continuous attempts to set it right. But it is not an effortless thing to forget the person who was your priority a few days or months back. Getting the thoughts to go about an ex after a month or after 6 months is not practical as it depends on person to person and how you work on it.
A relationship is a tie of physical and emotional attachment together. Though the bond breaks, the memories stay, they haunt and taunt you every second. I totally understand the pain but you still have a way to stop thinking about your ex. You don’t hurt yourself over and over again with the painful thoughts.
If you are here then you are going through a tough time but you will win over it with all your will. Here are some of the practical and positive ways that may help you stop thinking about your ex.
Also, Read: What to Do When Boyfriend is Mad At You
How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex?
1. Focus on Self Care
The first and foremost thing that you must do is focus on yourself. It’s high time you prioritize your happiness, comfort, and future. As we are in love, we tend to prioritize the other person more than ourselves but it is not our fault.
Leave the past behind and relearn to focus on yourself. It could be your health and wellness, your fitness, beauty, family or career. Self-worth and self-care are the best saviors to put you off the grief. It makes you feel better when you are good to yourself and for sure helps you stop thinking about your ex.
2. Set boundaries for yourself
Do you need to have boundaries for yourself too?
Yes! You must establish boundaries for yourself which keeps you safe emotionally. There will be fewer chances of emotional breakdown when you have no boundaries. They will have no self control which also leads to loss of self respect.
Without boundaries, you may expect your ex to come back or go back to him which may not be good for you. This will be a regret later if it was not your fault for relationship breakdown and there will be a situation that won’t work in your favor. So, it is always important to set boundaries for yourself or have your own policies.
3. Give Some Time To Accept Things
You wait for the pain to go and the emotional wound to heal. But you realize it’s taking more time than you expected while the thoughts of your ex keep haunting you some or the other way.
So, don’t make it late to accept reality. You must realize that a break up takes time to heal completely just like a severe wound takes time. Also know that you loved the person and didn’t pretend hence it’s harder to just let the thoughts go.
If you are taking too much time to forget your ex then it’s okay. But don’t force yourself to forget then and there as it can intensify your feelings for the person instead of coming out of the thoughts. All you can do is still wait, implement the positive ways to lead your life and one day you will stop thinking about him.
4. Have short term goals
Are you not able to focus on your career? This is a long term goal which may add mental stress while you already have something else on the other side. So, instead of thinking about the long term goals, set some short term goals which help you get rid of the thoughts about your ex.
You become involved with short-term goals which also help you work up for bigger goals. You gain confidence, courage when you are able to achieve simpler things and then aim for something bigger. Your ex will remain as the past by the time you are going with the flow of present and future.
Also, Read: How to Overcome Shyness With Your Boyfriend
5. Remember the reason for quitting
Sometimes, you know that you got better but it still hurts to let the person go. It is not the person you are thinking of but the bond between you both. Just get that bond back, you may also forget the real reason for quitting the relationship and want to think of the person repeatedly.
What to do now? Probably, you are just forgetting what made you quit the relationship so remember it once. If you really feel it is worth thinking about it then it’s fine to continue otherwise don’t even consider it. You have better things to focus on.
6. Remember that love is not everything
Did you always feel the love? Then it seems harsh to leave that kind of love. You feel incomplete and tend to think about your ex which is quite natural. But what you must realize now is, love is not everything.
If there is love, there should be acceptance, bravery, loyalty, honesty and many other qualities. Here you must consider the checklist for a healthy relationship and then you will think about your ex when you realize it. It is not okay to have such a relationship so it’s better to let it go. Say this to yourself and you will stop thinking about your ex.
7. Forgive that person
If you are cursing and blaming your ex then it’s not possible to stop thinking about the person. You must forget your ex is to forgive him. The hatred, negative thoughts can keep the person in your brain and heart which spoils your peace of mind.
From this moment, you should try forgiving your ex in your thoughts. This helps you have mental peace, and focus on positive things. As you forgive your ex partner, you are letting the negative thoughts go which is the progress of your own version.
8. Erase all the memories
Do you have any memories of your ex? Gifts presented, pictures and other belongings or contacts all are considered as memories which keep reminding you of your love for him.
You keep the memories stored safely with love but it can be a reason for your sadness whenever you come through them. I would advise you to erase all these memories which can help you stop thinking about him at least to some extent.
9. Opt for positive ways to vent out
When you are in pain, don’t force yourself to hide it. It is fine to vent it out but only choose positive ways. Many people start with new habits like consuming alcohol, substances or get into a new relationship which cannot really help you get over the person.
In fact, these ways can make the condition worse. Always choose positive ways which are listed here. These are the sustainable tips to stop thinking about your ex and other paths that may bring bad reputation and unnecessary stress to you. Stay away from anything negative as much as possible or you can even take the help of a professional counsellor to overcome the pain.
10. Don’t blame yourself
Blaming yourself is unfair no matter what. If you have made an effort to keep the relationship and if it didn’t work still then not to lama e yourself. Neither it doesn’t mean you have to blame your ex when it is the circumstances that fall in the right place.
Sometimes, a partner may be a reason for your break up but blaming them is not the solution. We have already been told that negative thoughts cause more pain. So, think and act positive which is simpler than merely blaming yourself.
When you stop yourself, gradually, you develop positive thoughts and acknowledge the reality which eases your pain. It becomes a key to stop thoughts about your ex too.
11. Talk to a trustworthy person
If you are relying on someone to share your feelings then it is totally an accepted thing. But it is important to share your pain and views with a trustworthy person.
It could be a family member, friend, or mentor. You get the right advice, care, and concern from a trustworthy person. All are not the same so be choosy whom you want to trust for such sensitive matters and you don’t find anyone, seek medical attention to help yourself rather than going to the wrong person. But talking to someone is the ultimate way to divert from sorrow.
12. Get the closure if needed
Closure for a relationship break is hyped- few people think so. But it is true that you keep thinking about the person when you have unresolved things with someone.
It is better to get a closure which helps you stay out of the haunting thoughts. Once for all if you have decided to move on after the talks, then you start working on it. Whereas, the pending relationship can keep disturbing your work so get rid of it as soon as possible by getting a closure.
13. Go for a trip
Don’t you think you need a change to let the past go? I agree the changing the place won’t change your mind totally but staying still cannot help you either. Going for a trip may give you a chance to relax, some exposure as you tend to socialize. You see new cultures, traditions, people which will help you get rid of the old thoughts.
You may still feel the pain and uneasiness but it feels better as the days pass on. Traveling can be one of the positive and practical ways to forget something painful, even your previous relationship and the memories holding to it.
14. Reconnect with old you
Remember that old you, visualize the days when you were not in the relationship. I’m sure you were a different person before you fell in love with your ex partner. A few qualities, habits made your identity which may not remain the same now. So, just try to go back to that version to forget what happened to you.
Again it’s not easy to change just because you want to get rid of the pain. Even this tip needs effort which must be implemented step by step. Slowly, you will come out of the present pain, past relationships and even stop thinking about your ex as you are indulged in the old you.
15. Pen down your thoughts and views
If you are in uncontrollable pain then thoughts keep coming. I wouldn’t advise you to try stopping those painful thoughts as bottling up is not good for you.
What you can do is- write down your thoughts and feelings. When you keep thinking, the emotions keep haunting you so writing it down can relive it all. Be it pain, fear or confusion, you must take a book and pen to tame it.
You realize, the emotions are controllable and the pain is smaller compared to your imagination. I do this. I have to share my painful and perplexed thoughts, which helps me a lot. So, try it out when you don’t want to share your pain with anyone but want to do something about stopping your ex-love.
If you are continuing with thoughts of your ex then it delays your healing while you have many more important things to do. It doesn’t mean you have to force yourself but be gentle with yourself and choose practical ways to stop thinking about your ex. These tips are also to lead you towards positivity and not be angry or hurt yourself. You can work to relieve your pain letting the memories go off with the helpful tips mentioned here. And finally, hoping you become free!
