When you have your first baby in your arms you forget everything else. And despite that being a very vulnerable yet rewarding phase of your life you may end up making honest mom mistakes which are infallible. No parent can get it all correct with their children, and we all make mistakes. First time mom mistakes are somewhat attributed to unawareness, overwhelming phase and a stream of stimulating emotions around.
Reading about how these mom first mistakes came out, I have truly identified with most of them as a mom who loves to learn and improvise. Motherhood is not a one rule theory or a series of do’s and dont’s. You learn and grow as a mother with he baby. And what may sound like a moms mistakes were rather the most immediate of reactions then.
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Some of the first time mom mistakes which should have been avoided:
The list is endless for every mother feels differently. But sure some of these mom first mistakes are not to be done at second and third child. You begin learning how your mistakes have changed a situation and somehow you must refrain from repeating them. These honest first time moms mistakes include:
1- So many parenting books:
I read almost 3-4 parenting books and signed up for around 5 new mom portals. Believing these would help me raise a better child and make me a better mother too. There are sure guidelines for every situation a new mom is in but do not read so many books that you end up just being a version of the author rather than a mom with impulses and instincts. Infact sometimes you ignore the child in your arms for finishing off a certain portion in the parenting books. Avoid it the next time, for until its something related to medical condition your child is your best guide to learning
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2- Not giving independence to the child:
You don’t trust your child yet and do not leave her alone for even a few seconds. Even a small squeak drives you crazy and you don’t want to let your child explore the world without you in it. Tummy time, free play time and allowing the child to explore the sensory and motor skills need not be accompanied by mothers or for that matter anyone else. Keep the kids safely and let them make noises as they explore things around
3- Not letting anyone offer help:
From changing diapers to bathing the baby to even doing laundry you wish to do it all, being a super mom you would do it also. But there is no need. You need some time off to maintain your sanity too. Taking helps from family and friends not just makes the kid happy by gelling with others but also gives you a certain time to relax away from the grind.
4- Sleep when the baby does:
Yes! The age old saying must definitely be followed. Most of the time I would rather have the surroundings clean and germ free rather than hitting the bed when my angel dozed off. Which is an additional burden for you need to switch off and sleep more than ever. Your body is undergoing a lot of physical and mental transformation and the more time you get to relax the better it would be for your physical and mental wellness.
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5- Buying everything from the nursery section:
This is the most ridiculous new mom mistake you would make. Not everything that is put out is needed and specially the most expensive stroller, diaper pail, wipe warmer and other luxury items. You need the basic travel system which is certified and some more necessary items which are needed for your kind of home. Expect and hope to fulfill these from baby shower rather then spending so much this time
6- Too many clothes:
Babies grow so fast that all the dozens of pairs you brought are already short. You must not keep more than a few handful for the first 2 years until the baby begins to slow on height growth and health. Infact the booties and shoes for a newborn in my opinion are the most wasteful of the offerings. You may crochet or get one for the pictures you would like to keep but having a whole range of them is just not needed
7- Forgetting to carry extra diaper at doctors visit:
Well we all have done that and this may have added to the anxieties then. But keep the habit of carrying a diaper bag always when you have your second of third child. And never forget to check and replenish diaper bag every time you come home.
8- Use breast pads:
Breasts leak and it may cause discomfort or embarrassment. Use breast pads all the time for you never know when you experience a leak
9- Don’t follow what everyone has to say:
Specially the elders in family have a whole lot of guidelines for every situation a new mom is in. They may mean good but the circumstances have changed considerably, what worked at their time may not work at all now. Use your maternal instincts and pediatric guideline more than anything else
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10- Do not begin rigorous workouts as soon as the child pops out:
Enjoy a few weeks o being voluptuous and cherish wearing the revealing clothes for showing off the heavy self. You need not worry about losing the weight just yet. AT least not until you check with your OB Gyn. You need some weeks of relaxation before beginning to proceed with weight loss exercises. Though yoga and walk can be begun from day 1.
11- Don’t be finicky about touch and smell:
You kid wont be sick from mild touch or smell around. So stop being fussy about the sanitizer and who holds your baby. Not every germ can be eradicated and not everything is harmful for your child.
12- Go by the routine than by your will:
You feel your kid is hungry but she is fast asleep and you don’t know what to do. Being a first time mom you must have forced feeding for you think the baby will starve if not fed in every 1.5-2 hours. Babies will wake up when they need to be fed and follow what your pediatrician has told in terms feedings in a day. If the doctor recommends waking every 3 hours then do it, don’t pursue in between feedings as they will just add up to the babies crankiness.
13- Keeping the baby confined at home:
Traditions in eastern and more orthodox countries force and women and the child to go on a postpartum confinement away from even the light of the day. But this does not hold true now. You need to go out and find your free time. Carry your baby, just be careful in first 1 or 2 months until the first important set of vaccination is done, but later the baby also needs some connect with nature and world around.
[Read: How to identify and treat postpartum depression in new moms]
14- You rushed to your doctor for each runny nose:
Its nice to seek pediatric help but for the issues which need and not every time. A mild cold does not need check up and diagnosis
15- The baby did not follow the graph shown by parenting books and you are already shivering:
Being a new mom you tend to believe whatever is written in parenting books is the bible for raising your child. And when your little one is not following whats mentioned you feel anxious and stressed out
16- Stop finding faults in your child:
Being a new mom even a slight snoring or hiccup can be terrifying but stop looking for abnormalities in your child. You must be observant but not fussy as it only adds to your stress
17- Crying when the baby cries:
Crying when your baby cries is simply not going to help any mom. Its natural for babies to cry and those baby blue episodes are real. At least once you may face a baby crying for hours and there’s no absolute reasons established. Don’t worry crying would not blast their respiratory tract or lungs, be supportive and helpful but not overly exaggerated or cry when the baby cries.
18- Comparing baby growth and milestone with others:
Your baby may have rolled over at 1 month but its not necessary for others to do it at all. My baby did not roll over until 4 months I never wanted to force her to. Some milestones are rather too generalized and don’t work out in absolute terms. Stop comparing and seeing other babies better or your baby better than the others. All babies have their own pace of growth and you just need to let them be
19- Leaving baby unattended:
Baby proofing and leaving baby unattended is equally dangerous. At age before 4-5 months babies need constant supervision. This does not mean helicopter parenting but rather being observant. As first time moms we all may have seen the baby stuck between the toys, or hurt with some big rattles so its not advisable to leave babies alone just yet. Specially on changing tables, as most skull injuries have come as a result of this.
20- Pushing pacifier all the time:
New moms hate the baby making sounds so much that they habituate their little ones to a pacifier. Pacifier must have limited use to the time when your baby is cranky or when you want the baby to sleep themselves. Pacifier must not be used all day as a told to stop baby from uttering a single noisy sound. New moms think pacifier makes a child happy and healthy rather they cause dental decay and a bad habit of sucking all the day
Conclusion:
The above compilation on First time mom mistakes which should have been avoided is to share how we as first time moms got carried away so much. It is good to be careful but over involved in your child is equally harmful for you both. Read the above and don’t repeat when you have second and third children
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