Being at that juncture in life where you have to bring up a child without a father is toilsome. For obvious reasons that you have to manage it without a helping hand to stand besides you or whom you can lean on in times when it may get tough for you. Can it be empathized enough? The answer to this is, No! As per a survey conducted by the Census Bureau there are about 12 million single parent families who are below 18 years and among the lot about 80% of the crowd are taken care by single mom. Though this is heart sinking, it is the truth and it can be dealt with as the show must go on.
Every single mother should sail through this initial struggle until things fall in place and nothing in the world can stop you and your child from being the happiest family. If you are one of those mom’s then do not be disheartened. Times struck on your clock to turn this disheartened feeling to a bold and strengthened one to rock motherhood.
Let this article be your ally and guide you on all that you can do to effectively manage being a single mother all alone.
Ideas To Raise Your Child Independently – You Can Do It!
If reading is your cup of tea and you are in search of something that you can relate to at this point in life then go ahead and read this book written by Debbie Burgin to lighten up your mood. It is a book for single mom’s.
Here are some ideas that could be useful to you through this ride of being a single mom. Take a look!
Don’t Fear The Fire ! Be The Fire! – Idea No 1!
Sometimes everything comes to us all at once and being a single mom would have never come to you with a choice that you asked for. You have all the valid reasons to feel shattered but this is the time you have to get up and be bold to come in terms with the challenges.
Be ready with situations where the world might come up with questions that you might not feel like answering and there are chances that you will be judged as well. Be it any situation, just stabilize yourself no matter what and keep going. Do not fear this tough time, be like the flame and face it with all courage.
Read: 14 Productive Ways To Choose The Right Career, Not Just A Job
Let Optimism Be Your New Cool – Idea No 2!
Staying positive ad-mist the negative situations around can be a tough nut to crack. Leave the negatives to where they are and look for positives to begin a new life with your child.
Think of great times of togetherness you are going to have with your child and how this bond will grow over time. Start a new life with new hopes and dreams to give your child a good future.
Prioritize to Take Care of Yourself – Idea No 3!
While you are taking care of your baby do not forget yourself because you have to be mentally as well as physically fit to be able to sustain yourself and your family. These are a list of things you can do to take care of yourself
- Devote 5 minutes of your day to meditate
- If you get 30 minutes, try and invest that time in doing something that you love
- Take a break every weekend to relax yourself in the way you like to
- Do not think of the past or get bogged down with the thought that you are all alone
- Meet people who make you feel nice and bring the best out of you
- Eat right, eat well and eat on time.
- Ensure to sleep well and keep yourself hydrated
- Listen to music that you love, it dresses you from all the turmoil
Watch This Video To Catch Up on Some Motivation :
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Take a Deep Breathe – Idea No 4!
Taking a deep breath helps revive your strength and relieve stress. Do not neglect your own mental peace, breath in and out in all those times when you feel like blaring out. There are umpteen ways of taking a deep breath and relaxing. Here is all that you need to know
Watch This :
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Establish Yourself Financially – Idea No 5!
We all need money for survival and savings to be on a safe side under unforeseeable circumstances. As a single mother your first role and responsibility would be to financially secure your life in the present and reserve something for the future so that you can run the show. Only when you have the money will you be able to provide your child with the basic needs and give your child a good future.
If you are already working, well and good. In case you are not working then look out for a job that could be of help to you.
Start to Get Along With The Clock – Idea No 6!
Make the clock your friend! Meaning, you have to begin with following a discipline in your life, so that you can take care of your child’s timings of eating, sleeping, studying etc, as well as you can be on time with your domestic as well as work schedule. Initially you will feel like a haywire situation but the clock will get you adjusted to its play.
Watch this video to be able to not just get along with the clock but effectively be able to manage time.
Read: What Kind of A Mom Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign? Know What Your Stars Say!
Do Not Neglect ‘Child Time’ – Idea No 7!
A child always needs parents irrespective of their age. The difference comes as and when your child is growing up. The level of dependency reduces after your child becomes an adolescent.
Talking of not neglecting child time. It means, when your child is an infant he/she will need you to take a feed form you or need the mother’s touch often during the day, when your child starts schooling your child may need you to be with him for few hours at least, when your child outgrows the stage of primary schooling your child may need you to share his/her experience in school. These are just examples, you would get to discover all of it as and when time goes by.
Not to forget to mention, as a single parent you have to take extra care of your baby’s health, mental state of mind and keep checking on your child once in a while during the day.
Find The Right Day Care For Your Baby – Idea No 8 !
If your little one is small and needs care and attention while you are at work. Find the right place for your baby. It is okay to put your baby in a day care while you are earning for his and your survival. If you are not convinced with this idea you can also have a baby sitter at home. You cannot afford to leave your baby all alone, as your baby is too tiny to take care of himself/herself.
Teach Your Child To Be Independent – Idea No 9 !
At the moment you have no one helping you bring up your child. It is important that you teach your child to be independent from the childhood stage so that your child does not find it tough to cope up with changes and difficulties in life even if you are not around he/she should be in a position to survive.
Tips to Make Your Child Independent :
- Give a scope for your child to do the decision making at times
- Shower love but do not overprotect
- Allocate few responsibilities to your child
- Get the child adjusted to the clock that you have got adjusted to
- Let your child make mistakes and teach your child how to learn from those mistakes
- Teach your child to do his/her work all by himself/herself(eating, taking a shower, being responsible towards his/her studies etc)
- Give space to your child, when you give space your child opens up
- Encourage your child to mingle with people, this will keep him/her occupied.
Teach The Right Morals To Your Child – Idea No 10!
You solely are your child’s mother and father. It is your duty to teach your child the basic morals that you think it is important for your child to learn. Ensure to teach your child basic courtesy and mannerism as other things fall in place with time.
There are some values that have to be firmly taught to your child to mould him/her. There will be a time where you cannot impose on your child to follow the morals you have brought up your child with.
If you want to mold your child the right way then do it at the right age. There is a right time and age for everything that we learn in life, ensure that your child is taught the right things at the right age.
There Is No Harm In Taking Help – Idea No 11!
In times when you get late to work or you need help with something at home in those situations there is no harm in asking for help from your neighbors or immediate family. Try and do everything on your own. However, if there is an emergency you must not hesitate in taking help.
Read: Beauty Tips for New Moms to Save the Day and Look Elegant
Manage Your Finances – Idea No 12!
Below are some of the tips that can be helpful to manage your finances.
To summarize it all , hold yourself and face the reality that you have to manage the show, do not forget to take care of your mental and physical self, teach your baby to be strong and independent, keep monitoring your baby often, teach your baby morals and discipline in life, let your child take decisions too.
When your child grows up and wants an explanation to what happened in the past, talk to your child about it and explain to him/her to let go of what happened and not feel unhappy about the bad in situations.
There are two sides of the story about single mother hood. The first side of the story is inevitable that it is no joke, the second side of the story is that you learn so much through the phase that you just become a totally empowered and tough to mess with super woman. In short, you won’t know how but you will just get shaped up mentally, physically, socially and emotionally.
Cheer up and live this single motherhood well!
