Mama’s boys do not come with a warning sign. So you have been seeing this guy for quite some time now, he is sweet, exceptionally so, and there is just something so charming about the time you spend with him. Just when you think things are actually going somewhere- you start noticing little things about him, things you hadn’t paid attention to before. You pay attention and suddenly you see how much he is involved with his…mom?!?
Oh no, don’t get us wrong, there is nothing wrong about being close to your mom, infact that’s a healthy sign. But as grown ups, where do you draw the line? How much involvement is too much? Especially if it starts affecting you’re the relationship you two have?
The Clear Signs of a Mama’s Boy
Is he too reliant. Or distracted? Are you already noticing changes in the way he treats you when his mom is around? Are certain topics too touchy for? though you may think that everybody is different, and all these reasons may not apply to him, but if you see a recurring pattern we ask you to be objective and have a look. And these might not mean a lot, but you will just be well informed in case you are eventually dating a Mama’s boy. Here are the following signs:
1. He Tells His Mother LITERALLY Everything
Sharing a few details here and there is fine, but if your guy here ends up telling his mom everything, about his day, about his date, about his life- that just seems a bit odd. Sure its cool to snapchat your mom, is he honestly texting him more than you do? There is a possibility she is intrusive, and maybe your boyfriend hasn’t laid out any boundaries because he never felt the need t do so.There is a strong chance that he calls his mom at least 5 times a day, and be assured that she has an advice or an opinion ready at all times. Which brings us to our next point.
2. He is Never Truly Independent
Sure, he may have lured you with the idea that he has it all under control, but beneath all that he still runs to his mother regarding every small decision. So much so, that she practically decides everything-his argument might be that it’s his mom, but for a grown up, that is a poor excuse for not being accountable for your own decisions. There is also a strong chance that he might be financially dependent on her or atleast ready at her every beck and call. Mama’s boys also let their moms completely control their entire life form their diets to who they meet- this could spell great trouble for you and your relationship
3. He Always Needs His Mom’s Approval
Another huge indicator that he is Mama’s boy could be the fact that if at all he ever does make a decision that is his own, he will run it by her simply to get her approval. This means that he lacks all the self-confidence a grown man needs because all his major life decision were looked over by his mom. Further elaborating on the dependency part, this also means that he incapable of being on his own and lacks the kind of self-assurance that only comes from fighting your own battles. A bit of guidance is alright, but running everything by your mom shows a lack of faith in your own abilities or even the bravery required to make your own mistakes.
4. He is Little Immature
Now w are not just talking about inappropriate jokes, but if your man is incapable of taking criticism or is constantly throwing tantrums, there might be a chance that he is mama’s boy. He might be so accustomed to having his way, or his mom kicking problems away for him that the slightest bit of inconvenience throws him off board. This could have led to him being a whiner and also somehow convincing himself that there are no problems because he is so used to his mom taking care of all those things for him. He probably has never had a moment of original thought or reflection to study his own actions.it could also mean that he has no idea about how to deal with things without his mother’s guidance.
5. He Constantly Compares You to Her
Oh, do we smell trouble! A true sign of mama’s boy is one where he thinks his mom can never do any wrong and that she is the best. Holding your mom to an impossible ideal might be cute, but when you are an adult it is just unrealistic and a bit annoying, and if it comes to a point where the grown man is holding all his relationships with females against that bar, the results might be disastrous. If he constantly compares you to his mother, that could be extremely problematic for your relationship in the long run, because honestly, no one can compete with our moms.
6. His Mother is Extremely … Involved
Okay, we mean nosy. If his mother comes over to his place unannounced, barging in on important or intimate occasions without any prior notice simple because she thinks its not worth it, that actually does sounds problematic. What about the weekly dates where she comes to clean after him. That does not make your boyfriend sound like an adult at all. Think about it, how many times have you had to break it because of his mom. If she books all his appointments, and chooses all his clothes, it makes you wonder just how grown up is he, if he cannot carry out these basic tasks without his mom?
7. He is Used to Having His Way
Chances are that he is extremely spoilt because of all the undiluted attention his mom has given him over the years. This has probably conditioned him to think that world revolves around him. Os if you are even a little late in texting him- he will flip. Another sign is he is extremely socially needy and wishes to be liked by everyone as he is under confident without the external validation. He is used to the truth being cushioned for him and does not deal with the reality that well unless his mom assures him that she has his back, relying for a bit of support is actually great, but if you think about his own capabilities, there has to be some semblance of autonomy atleast somewhere.
8. If his Mother Disapproves of You
Now everyone would like their friend and family to approve of their significant other, this shows acceptance and tolerance for something that is important t the individual by all the parties involved. But if you find his mom extra hostile towards you because she thinks that you have stolen the apple of her eyes, you might have to take a step back and analyse the situation. If she constantly disapproving of you and keeps pointing your mistakes, there is a strong chance that she will try to jeopardize your relationship. If she has that kind of involvement in her son’s romantic relationship, you can be assured for a fact that it isn’t a great situation
9. If Her Guilt Trips Still Work on Him
They might have worked at one point when he was growing up and she was trying to discipline him but if she still tries to manipulate him through her guilt trips in adult situations, its time for you to take a step back and let them sort their stuff out. Another strong indicator of him being mama’s boy is that if he still wins every argument with him and that too competitively. This clearly shows that he still lets her have her way when it comes to HIS life decisions. This obviously cannot be beneficial for you in the long run.
10. She Does all the Work for His Adult Life
A preview of this was her being too involved and coming over unannounced, but another sign could be this- is she the one who has decorated her apartment, is he the one who still does all the grocery shopping for him? A lit bit of caring never hurt anybody but if she compulsively dominates all the minute decisions in his life then she has raised him to be a man child, if he constantly refers to his mother in every conversation then you know who is the one shifting gears. This could also later end up in her dictating his decisions about his love life, which in turn would affect you, all these might seem subtle to him, but they are doing permanent damage to his decision making abilities.
11. Is She is Eating Up Your Share of Attention and Time
Men are always encouraged to have a healthy relationship with their mother, this is proof of how well they treat all the other women in their life. but if you see that your man is just constantly texting his mom, or talking to her over the phone while he is with you- that’s problematic. Another symptom of being mama’s boy could be the fact that he constantly wants you to spend time with her, urges you to become best pals so he can mix these two parts of your life. But if he brings in her prior judgments and manipulative tactics only to eat on your precious time, then you need to have the talk. It is not healthy for a grown man to be this obsessed with his mother.
12. He Always Takes Her Side
Ofcourse she is the one who gave birth to him, but that does not mean she gets to rule his life. If you see your man being incapable to form his won thoughts and constantly siding with his mother if disagreements happen to rise, then you will know for sure that he is not someone you can rely on for the long run. It also means that he hold his mother to an impossible ideal you will never be able to match.
This is both unhealthy and insulting for you. Be cause no matter what you do, he will always be resentful. He will always point out whats different and these differences might end up causing a strife in your relationships. Being supportive of someone you love is one thing, but blindly taking one person’s side till it drives another loved one away is naive and disrespectful. If you constantly find yourself in the second spot, Do not let yourself get disrespected like that.
13. She Knows Way Too Many Details
Yes , you may never be able to compete with the kind of information and experiences she has with him, but if your relationship comes to a point where you realize that he tells his mom even the gross , intimate details of your relationship- that’s just horrific. Dependency like that is in no way healthy, and you should cut ties with someone like that immediately. It also shows sheer lack of boundaries and obvious bad taste. A person who cannot respect another person’s privacy should be avoided at all costs.
A healthy relationship with a mother and son is a bond that is priceless, but with adult, hood comes great responsibilities which a son should be able to take care of without running to his mom every second. If you are to build a life with a guy, you need to know his qualities and his flaws. Be careful beforehand and deal with it with lots of dignity. And remember there are always 2 people in a relationship, not more.