At some point or the other, each of us has wondered if we have been single for too long! Though modern dating has its perks, the feeling of not having found an adorable significant other tends to creep up on almost everyone.
The grass always looks greener on the other side, and no matter what your predicament actually is, you always want to be validated and desired by somebody you consider equally attractive.
And though being single might absolutely rock, one can’t deny the pangs of loneliness you might feel from time to time, especially when you see all your friends dating, or when you need a plus one for a get together.
The Reason
Other than many superficial reasons, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. To each his own, as many people can find themselves thriving even when they are in serious relationships. But if you find yourself unhappy in your daily life despite having ticked off the boxes on self-improvement (there is obviously no end to that ), chances are, you have been single for way too long! Given below are the signs that prove the same:
1. Couple Pictures Make You Feel Something
Instagram and you now share a bitter sweet bond, one that makes you want to swoon and hurl at the sight of lovey dovey pictures online. As you spent another night married to netflix, you have casual meltdowns where you just want to hold somebody’s hand and later post picture about it. The social media culture of our time doesn’t help with all the pangs you feel and watching absolutely ordinary people date happily for years makes you wonder if you are abnormal. Anything that involves a couple gets and extreme reaction out of you but mostly you can’t help but sub consciously yearn for that feeling!
2. Netflix is your Best friend
Gone are the days when you would spend hours getting ready for a date, now its all about you rushing home from work, to change into your jammies and then start watching your favourite shows immediately. Though there is nothing wrong with a little unwinding, you now want to spend your time only with tv characters considering how reliable and entertaining storylines can be, and you don’t even have to put on any makeup! You find plot holes more interesting then the mind games modern dating brings about, and every night spent witnessing the golden era of television is way better than bustling around playboys.binge watching is your go-to cure for a bad day almost every day! Its a smart and conscious decision, but its been a while and is now starting to seem like a lifestyle!
3. You have become cynical about a lot of things
Now this might seem completely negligible in the beginning, but over a period of time, you have now developed a personality that seems to get repulsed by all things romantic, it does not have to be extreme, it is just not being able to understand how anybody could willingly trade their sanity for some company. It is not that you don’t like the idea of love but the real life limitations of it coupled with the anxiety modern-day dating brings- ugh, you are just not up for it. And because you are constantly looking to improve yourself, you understand how limiting and disastrous it can be, so you keep your opinion to yourself, but you understand really well just how cumbersome it can all be.
4. Constantly Swinging Between Higher Standard and Lower Criteria
Days and months of window shopping for dates has left you at a point where you just do not know where you stand. Do you give in to your impeccable tastes or date someone is way below your wavelength you are just too confused. You often find yourself dreaming about your perfect partner, but hours later you are dreaming again, so you do not know exactly what is it that your heart wants. You have been in your head for so long that now that you actually have to think about choosing someone who is present in your real world, you are crippled with doubts about the most random things in their personality and it is a never ending conundrum.
5. You are little too familiar with dating Apps
Whether it is Tinder or Bumble, you have had your fair share of online dating experience and you share a funny relationship with it. The instant gratification and validation formula of online apps might not go down well with the actual technicalities of real life dating. While you are actually willing to try, the leisure of it also makes get weary of day to day interactions, again, the limitations of online dating are also quite a few, and you are almost done with swiping off random dudes. In fact, you are so adept about the game, that you could actually give an online dating seminar. You know the drill, you whether someone is even worth meeting in real life, you know the level of creepiness it can ascend to and you also know just how inconsequential it can all be- basically you are done!
6. You are quite comfortable with yourself!
Now this is one of those things that is actually an excellent quality to have ! this is not just beneficial when you are single but also when you are in a relationship because you are just so much at ease with yourself that you do not feel threatened by anything, infact you are easygoing and have a lot of faith in yourself. So if you find yourself at a spot where you feel like you are actually really happy and comfortable with yourself, then you know that you can date somebody in a healthy manner without dumping your issues or baggage on them.
7. Your friends are beginning to give up on you.
Your friends and family are tired of asking you to do something about your dating life. And you, quite frankly, are a little relieved. Lesser people to disappoint. This is not just about having a negative approach, you just find it especially exhausting to explain a bunch of other people about your grievances. They try to set you up once in a while, but you always find a way to either not turn up or later turn the prospect down. And it is not just about you, even when they gave some relationship problems, you tend to give them dumping clues or generally ask people to calm down on the love business. Though all this can be taken in good humor, its been a while and people are starting to get a little irritated.
8. You are thinking about going back to your ex
Though all the other self-improving spheres associated with being single might be very helpful, this one right here is a malicious one. After being without a relationship for too long you might think that going back to your ex is actually a good idea, but ask yourself if it was such a fool proof plan why did you leave in the first place? It is important to look at things objectively and not just give into moment’s whim. Loneliness is real, but going back to a relationship that hurt you is just plain stupid. Understand that you single for a reason, and let that reason be your own decision, not the ridiculousness of someone, in any case, it is definitely better to be single than to be miserable whilst being with someone else.
9. You suffer from FOMO
Now for ou generation, this is a real one. In fact you think about it so much that it actually drives you crazy. Often when we are young it is not just about falling in love, but the feeling that comes with its idea. You want to know what it is like to be in the center of the universe, and being in a relationship helps you do that. It makes you feel like you are a part of something. It is very important to understand this difference right in the beginning, so that you do not get confused.
10. You are getting lazy with your appearance
Only work meeting or extremely formal gatherings now get your attention. You do not remember the last time that you went to the saloon and dressing up now seems like a chore. Of course there are girls who dress up for themselves and look fabulous( you are the best !) but you have now made your pajamas or your hoodies your home and you do not wish to make any changes.
You give almost little to no attention to your daily wardrobe and other than the exception of personal hygiene, you do not care about what happens to your body or the clothes you wear, simply because sub consciously you know that it does not matter and superficially that there is no one looking at you.
11. You tend to tune out boys
You love your girlfriends and you love your career and you are actually done thinking about boys. On the whole, you think you do not need that extra drama and would rather focus on what is truly important- self care. So even when your girls are droning bout what new debauchery their boys were upto this week, you can just tune them out., you realize how frivolous some of it can be sometimes and do not want to get too serious thinking about what a “ guy would do “! this might appear a bit negative and dismissive, but hey, it is your perspective and unless you want to do something about it, you can keep thinking the way you want. Though a little open mindedness could be advised in general, there are ways I which you will learn how to cope with being single over a long time and this might just be one.
12. You have way too many ruses
When you are busy focusing on a career that is actually a good way to spend your time but if you find yourself hiding from the harsh realities of life and completely escaping the process of having to go out there and meeting someone simply because you have a “thing you need tot take care of “ then its problem. Again, you have to be able to recognize this, the healthy balance is ideal. Ask yourself what is it that you actually want and then work accordingly. Understanding one’s parameters and expectations from life is all that matters, and this is what you have to decide on if you find yourself constantly repeating old patterns.
It is wonderful to be single and it is wonderful to be in a relationship. But ask yourself what is it that you really want. How you do one thing in, life is how you do everything in life, so recognize your patterns and processes and decide what is it that you do want, and how is it that you want it. Introspection is the ultimate key and open mindedness is a must.
There will be many times in life where you will find yourself extremely lonely, and these are definitely not the times when you should pursue a relationship, because dating at this point will only reveal certain deeper insecurities and make you feel more inadequate. This article is intended yo provide some insight to women who are in one way or the other trying to understand their own psyche and place in the world relationships after having done the necessary work on themselves. Strive to be a woman who is on the path to self actualization.
Your life will not suddenly get better once you are in a relationship and that the present moment is all there is, so you must learn to enjoy it on your own at first before looking for somebody you think could give you the best life.
