Have you ever been a saint like person and never experienced any sort of insecurity in your relationships? It is close to impossible to have never felt it ever.
Insecurity is never a sign of weakness, it is just like a flu that comes by even when you are the strongest.
When you have that special someone in your life, it is natural that somewhere deep down you always have a fear of losing the person or for that matter you get unsure and start to doubt if the relationship will go a long way.
Been there ever? You must be wondering if these insecurities are valid or unwanted fears, right?
Well, it is you who has to recognize if your insecurities are real and valid or is it time to let go of your insecurities and without any fear stay peaceful in your relationship.
What is Insecurity in a Relationship?
Defining a challenging emotion is no cake walk and that’s exactly how it is to define the ‘insecure emotion’ that most of us go through in our relationships.
What is being insecure? It is going in a state of being scared of losing a person although there isn’t a strong reason for a person to be scared.
However, all insecurities are not unwanted, when a person experiences a series of activities implying the partner cheating or giving signals of going away, it can make a person feel insecure.
What Causes Insecurity in a Relationship
Surprisingly you never know how insecurity hits you, you would have the most perfect bond with your partner, there is no surety in how long that perfection stays and if insecurity comes your way then it can shake things up for you.
That being said, listed below are the causes for insecurity in a relationship. Take a look!
Cause No 1 – When Negativity Hits Hard
No one is made or lives perfect that they can escape from negativity or negative thoughts.
There are chances that your partner or you naturally have a negative thought process that’s not allowing you to think good for your relationship.
Example – When you think that your relationship won’t go a long way.
Cause No 2 – Traumatized By The Past
We become what we learn from our past, be it sweet or bitter. The most affected by our past trauma is the person we are in a relationship with.
Having said, it is possible that you must have had a bad experience in a relationship in your past that is making your insecure in your ‘today’ as well.
Cause No 3 – Perfection Is All That You See
If life always worked the way we want, who would ever feel insecure? when we know for sure that what we want and love is always going to be there for us, we would never feel this sad emotion. Right?
Coming to reality, everything is not perfect and when you try to imbibe perfection within yourself, you will lose track and all the more slip and get imperfect.
Especially, expecting your relationship to be perfect at all times can make you feel deserted when something imperfect happens. Trying to achieve perfection and not getting there possibly causes insecurities in a relationship.
Cause No 4 – Partner’s Continuous Absence
Sometimes when your partner is busy and doesn’t give you time or you see that his behaviour towards you is not the way it is, it is enough to make a person feel insecure.
Especially if the behaviour pattern remains the same way for long, it is enough to bring in vaccum in the relationship.
Cause No 5 – Insecurities With Yourself
Being insecured about your ownself is not a good place to be in and this happens when you forget to love yourself enough. While this is essential inspite of being in a relationship, there are lot of women who forget it.
Example – You are insecured about yourself when you are not sure about what is good or bad for you, when you are unhappy with yourself for your looks or competency levels and the worst of all is when you start to compare yourself to someone your partner appreciates can worsen things.
Cause No 6 – Partner’s Strange Behaviour
You will know it yourself if you are unnecessarily being worried for your relationship or if there truly is a problem. At times those insecurities aren’t unnecessary, they have a meaning.
That being said, when your gut and observations clearly indicate to you that your partner is losing interest in you or finding it tough to get along, you will surely get insecure.
All in all, now you know what causes insecurities in a relationship, its time to stop feeling this way and punishing yourself.
Signs of Insecurity in a Relationship
If you aren’t sure and need a confirmation about what are the signs that clearly show your insecurities in a relationship, this is what you should read. Take a look!
Sign No 1 – Trust Issues
Although everything is going well, your partner is best with you, when you find it tough to still be yourself and open up kto him about your emotions, it means you are insecure.
Sign No 2 – When You Make Your Fears Come True
You cannot avoid getting a negative though, however, continuing to let that thought stay is a choice and when you make that choice you are calling for negativity.
Example – You keep thinking that your partner is not happy with you and one day it ends up happening.
Sign No 3 – When Seek The Sugar-Coat
It is clearly a sign of insecurity when you always create a situation where you want your partner has to keep letting you know how much he loves you.
Sign No 4 – You See That Dark Space Between The Two Of You
When you are insecure about your partner, even if he/she if giving you enough time you still feel that there is a never-ending dark space and distance between the two of you.
Sign No 5 – You Get Conscious And Try Pleasing Your Partner
When you are insecure about a person you will find every means to keep that person close to you and please him.
You will start being perfect for that person even if that’s not naturally how you are and finally you get into that zone of doing everything that he likes forgetting yourself in the bargain.
Having looked at the signs, you should be able to guide yourself to the right track and learn where to balance it out.
How to Overcome Insecurity in a Relationship
Coping up with insecurities does sound painful and once you have faced and understood it enough, it will just disappear and make you feel better.
Here are a few tips that will help you overcome insecurities, how much do you want to take it serious is your choice further.
Tip No 1 – Calm Down
We get on to finding bigger ways to feel fine forgetting that the first thing we need to do is just calm down.
If you have started to experience insecurities lately and want to get over this feeling, you need to begin with calming down, analyse if your thoughts are valid or not.
It is good to reflect upon your insecurities in a relationship and go deep, this is the only way to get out of it too.
Tip No 2 – Understand That Your Past Is Dead
You need to understand it loud and clear that not every experience is going to repeat itself, if you are scared because of your past then it is nothing less than a mistake you are making with your present.
You will have to get strong and tell yourself that you will not get affected with the past and face new challenges with a smile.
If bad has happened to you, just think of what it taught you and don’t carry the same insecurity.
Tip No 3 – Do It All Over Again – Fall In Love With Yourself!
Where there is love, there is confidence! If you have got too involved with your insecurities, then just take a break, get out of that room and look at yourself who is waiting to fall in love with you another time.
This falling in love will boost your confidence and help you realize that ill-thoughts for yourself was your only enemy and you are capable and deserve all the love.
If you are afraid if your partner loves you or not then you just need to stop bothering about it. Its just time to focus on yourself for a while.
Go out for a vacation or probably just spend a few days with yourself to come back in form.
Tip No 4 – Shift From Self-Comparison To Self Reflection
Most of us do things that we shouldn’t do! Yes, our mind shuts off at times and its never too late to enlighten ourselves again.
That being said, when you start to feel that your partner is appreciating another woman more than you, immediately look at the amazing things in you.
Now, it is easier said and trust me its easy to do it as well. You just need to have the determination to look at the good in yourself no matter what.
At start you might just not understand this concept and it may not work. Just remember that it is just a great way of appreciating yourself.
Tip No 5 – Keep It Transparent With Your Partner
If we can all talk about our problems, life gets easier! Applies to insecurities as well. It is important that you let your partner know about what you feel.
The idea to do this is to let your partner know what you feel so that he can comfort you and clearly tell you what’s going on with him.
On the other hand, you will be consciously make an effort to improve yourself after seeing your partner being a sweetheart and clarify things with you.
Talking always help, a discussion might not start easy or for that matter not end up with a solution. Most importantly, the two of you get to learn each other better.
Tip No 6 – Seek Answers From Your Partner, Not Assumptions!
Most of us prefer assuming and we talk less. Do it the other way round, assume less and talk more.
You won’t really know about what a person feels or intends to say or do unless he doesn’t express it to you.
Whenever you have a problem or want to clarify your point, simply ask him. This will build the comfort level in between the two of you and at the same time you practice the art of not assuming, this can save you from all the unnecessary insecurities in a relationship.
Tip No 7 – Strengthen Your Faith
It isn’t lack of faith that is always the reason to make you insecure in your relationship, at times it is just your unwilling behaviour to accept the fact that your partner is true to you.
Whenever you feel that your partner doesn’t love you like he used to or you think he is going to go away, simply think of all the good times between the two of you, think of all times when he showed up and kept up to your faith in him and fight against all the negative thoughts stuck in your mind.
You will have to take up this challenge of fighting with your insecurities by strengthening your faith in your partner.
Tip No 8 – Accept And Let Go
It might sound bookish but think of this deep! This tip will make you strong in a way that you will never feel insecure about your partner.
Whenever you feel insecure, just remind yourself of the fact that you love your partner and even if he wants to let go of you, you will let him do it as love knows no bondage, it is simple, free and a place to find happiness.
It is quite painful to let go of someone you love, what’s most important is that you will not have to be insecure anymore and the fact that your partner is happy should make you feel good and help you find a new path for yourself. It is as simple as that!
Conclusion
Insecurities in a relationship come to either make it a stronger connection between your partner and you or it can go the negative way and break your bond.
If you want to be in a happier and successful relationship, you need to cope up with your insecurities and become mature in your relationship.
It is in your hand to either give power to your insecurities or talk to your inner-self and rise above the emotion.
What’s the choice you want to make?
